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Restrictive Behaviors

A Blog Post By Katie Stankiewicz

· Personal Growth,Entrepreneurship


"All your behavior results from the thoughts that precede it." -Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Everything I do, I give and stand behind 110%. I have the confidence to believe in the truth and the reliability of my work with horses and humans. The harmony and balance that I have created continues to turn into authentic successes.

How confident are you in yourself and your heart-centered business? You may have some aspect of your life that you are just sick of and the negative impact it has. Release it and make a positive change. Are you willing to take action and get to 125%?

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Often unconscious feelings of low self-worth are portrayed within seemingly casual conversations, actions that lack responsibility and submission. The result of each is a defense mechanism that twists intent. Mere chatting or a simple task evolves into an inexplicably uncomfortable situation. Actually adversarial. The outward layer is ego, fed by and nourished with "why me?"

The initial excitement over a new project shifts to: "I don't know why I took this on. There's way too much for one person to organize. I am so over worked! Why ask me? I didn't have anything to do with the mix up." “I’m not good enough!”

These statements resonate "victim", nullify the peremptory conversation or experience and lack responsibility. The "victim" is most likely unaware of these conditioned responses or the impact they have. "Victim" is an acquired passive aggressive behavior, used to garner self pity or sympathy. "Victims" can be protecting themselves from perceived harm or failure. They can receive attention and sympathy from others, and don’t have to assume responsibility. In actuality, the "victim" may be feeling helpless and unable to alter their response or the circumstance.

The disheartened statements dissipate the enjoyment of the initial exchange and at the core layer is the emotional state of catabolic negative energy. There is an imperious shift in tone attaching the "poor me" stigma, which pushes people away. Victims are entangled in an emotional web where personal inventory lacks objectivity and sometimes evokes an argumentative nature.

The personality has a manipulative yet vaguely vulnerable presence. It also has the innocence of normalcy. There is an underlying negativity, often spiraling to cause painful consequences. Most certainly the victim has a difficult time recognizing and owning these behaviors. Unseen until the victim steps back and examines intentions OR someone points out the habitual tenure of the behavior.

Victims rarely recognize their self-sabotaging behavior and yet when brought to the forefront we have workshops and tools to redirect thoughts and behaviors. There are times everyone feels "put upon", taken advantage of, blamed or overwhelmed. The "victim" role is assumed when these thoughts overtake prospective and sabotage the intent of a conversation. It is time to take ownership and action!

"Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion and knowledge."
- Plato

Everyone that embarks in the equine-assisted world, magnifies desire and passion. At times it can be an uphill battle of understanding and challenges. This can become discouraging. This group offers the support and knowledge of how to reach within, shift the patterns of challenges behavior, focusing on a desire to break through and embrace the emotional well-being of equine empowerment.

Authenticity is a freeing source releasing restrictive behaviors.

How is this achieved?

1. Take a personal inventory, to include accountability. This fosters responsibility and limit setting thus identifies and redirects negative behaviors.

2. Turn a new direction in thoughts and actions. Creating personal boundaries for conversations and actions and adhering to this new standard thus eliminating destructive behaviors.

3. Realize problems exits. Using positive energy to redefine, regroup or rebuild. Not allowing problems to be an excuse or a "why me" thought.
4. Let go of negative thoughts and grudges. These are anchors and disallow growth.

5. Think in terms of gratitude and affirmations to support the process of change.


"I want freedom for the full expression of my personality!"

- Ghandi

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